Zombie Apocalypse 2: Day Of The OAP

Walking around in Marks and Spencers today with my mother, and helping my Grandad go shopping, I was reminded of some of those old George Romero films, with the slow walking zombies in the shopping mall. They were everywhere. Hordes of similarly-dressed, slow-walking old people infesting the well known retailer like the living dead, stocking up with stodge to get them through the festive season. I walked around the store with a fixed-grin attached to my face as I imagined a scenario where I had to fend for my life by probably battering them senseless with an arm off a manikin or something. 

Of course, just because they walk slow is no guarantee that you will easily be able to escape. Everyone knows the feeling of trying to walk somewhere quickly and getting stuck behind an old person and having to reign in your youthful pace. The frustration you feel is immense. Earlier I was despatched to the other side of the shop by my mum to get some milk. I walked briskly to my destination weaving in and out of the lingering olds - dodging the coffin dodgers if you will - and gaining quite a pace. 

When I got there, with my calcium-rich goal clearly in sight, I made the for the gap in the aisle and......just when I was almost there an old lady with a trolly walked straight out in front of me, I slowed to an almost stop. Another walked out, just to her side, and then there was one behind, too. I was forced to take their pace for the final stretch to the milk. It took me longer to travel the last few feet of my journey than it did to cross the entire store.

Not entirely sure what my point is here, having gone off on a bit of a tangent from the point I was going to make and have since forgotten, other than if you're stuck in some kind of a Zombie Apocalypse situation, like in 'Dawn Of The Dead' where the zombies move really slowly, just don't get too complacent.