Tea-Bagging

I heard an interview with the former England wicket-keeper Jack Russell recently, in which he said during the earlier days of his international career, while touring in the sub-continent, and supplies and wages being tight, he used to make a single tea bag last an entire tour. This amazed me. I mean, what must his tea have actually tasted like? Just hot water with milk in after about three cups I suppose.


Upon further thought, I realised that the truth of the circumstances he described must be a little warped - tea bags are not expensive, are generally very readily available anywhere in the world (and this couldn't have been much different in the 80's, surely), and he was a paid sportsman. So, really I suppose this just certifies that Jack Russell not only shares the name of a type of dog, but was also a bit weird. Either that, or Jack Russell made a tea bag last an entire tour by only having one cup of tea during it.


Nevertheless, I am an extremely bored individual at the moment, and seem to have an awful lot of spare time on my hands, so today I have decided to test the lifespan of a tea bag under controlled conditions. Well, me drinking tea from the same tea bag all morning, while watching 'The Wright Stuff'.


Cup No. 1: I like a strong cup of tea with very little milk. I make it quite dark and let it brew for a significant amount of time. I am making my tea with PG Tips pyramid style bags, which were presumably designed to maximise the flavour and time to brew. Probably. Cup No. 1 is strong, aromatic, and life-giving. Tea is quite simply wonderful, and I could not live without it.


Cup No. 2: Still very drinkable. Just about resembling the same colour, along notable not as strong a flavour. Still aromatic.


Cup No. 3: Took a long while to brew, tastes a lot like nothing. Not very nice. Warm and wet though, sometimes that can be all you need from a cup of tea.


Cup No. 4: The bag has split slightly where I've been trying to crush some vestige of flavour out of this withered and pitied excuse for an ingredient to a hot drink. It tastes of nothing and there are bits floating in it. There is no colour and I am enjoying it very little.


Cup No. 5: I refuse to drink this piss.


And so there you have it. Like a budget episode of 'Mythbusters' I have proved that a tea bag cannot last a single morning, let alone a 5 month tour of the subcontinent.