Keep It Real

They say everyone's got at least one book in them. Well, judging by my blog entry yesterday, mine will probably be very short and not very good.


Another day has passed by unceremoniously. The novelty of being jobless and fancy-free has well and truly gone, unlike my cold. Aside from the daily rituals of applying for more jobs, watching 'The Wright Stuff', and blowing my nose every five minutes, I have spent some time today attempting to write some new songs (in my capacity as a budding/failing singer songwriter).


I have found my firm belief in my music, and in playing and performing, has begun to slip away recently. It has become harder and harder for me to write songs and lyrics where only a year or so ago they used to pour out of me like a broken tap. I wonder if all musicians, if I dare to class myself amongst their ranks, suffer these doubts and writing droughts from time to time. Or is that really the difference between those that succeed and those that don't, or were never going to? Do they persevere doggedly through such times, or maybe never have these doubts in the first place? I suppose the question I'd really like to know the answer to is;
Do artists succeed on talent, effort or just plain luck? I don't believe, personally, I have ever had any of these three traits in particularly large amounts - but then I've never really thought of music taking me anywhere anyway, not really, despite it being a great dream of mine. Maybe it really is a mixture of all three, and perhaps timing.


Any which way, I don't think it will be me. But I don't think it should stop me trying. I have always thought that perhaps there may be more dignity in trying and failing than not bothering. And failing in your own way and by your own accord - on your own terms - as a dreamlike bedroom-performing singer-songwriter than there is by applying to plastic theatrical talent shows on television. Whether people like your stuff or not, you've just got to keep it real.


Having said all this, in a not particularly focused way - I may revisit this subject - I've barely managed to write a thing today.


Do you want to be the best you can,
Or be well known?
Do you want to repeat lines you heard,
Or write your own?


Do you want to follow beaten paths,
Or blaze a trail?
When you try your hardest to succeed,
You mostly fail.


Mostly.