Monday 27th August - Edinburgh

My summer break is nearly at an end. I've only been off for 12 days, but suddenly the idea of being back at work tomorrow fills me with an ineffable dread. My job isn't too bad I suppose, but there's always something wonderfully free about not being there.

A majority of my time off has been spent in the act of drinking and laughing - two of my favourite things - and I visited the Edinburgh Festival Fringe for 5 of my days off. A wonderful mix of comedy and beer, and in possibly my favourite city in the world, such is the atmosphere and buzz about the place during the month of August. This was my 3rd trip to Edinburgh, and my second in a row to the Fringe - and it could become a real habit to return there every year.

This year I went with three mates and a great time was had by all, ducking in and out of pubs, stand-up gigs, theatre and street performances. And eating and drinking an awful lot. Largely pizza and beer I think - which is probably what caused the hotel room to smell so badly. I honestly think the Methane levels in that room from our collective farts over 5 days could have provided a breathable atmosphere from an alien Emissary from Uranus. (And that wasn't just an anus joke, I just Googled "methane-rich planets" and the only one it came up with was Uranus, which Google goes on to inform me is the third largest planet in the solar-system, with the fourth highest density, and is named after the ancient Greek god of flatulence.)

Of course, if we had to have entertained the Ambassador of Uranus in that hotel room I struggle to think that we could have provided him/her/it with much meaningful conversation until at least midday, once our hangovers had subsided. We could probably have fed him some crisps and nuts from our extensive supply, if that's what aliens eat, and let him finish the Independent crossword to keep him busy - while he was gulping in great lungfuls of our live-preserving anal-emissions, waiting for someone important like the PM or the Queen to turn up and greet him.

And so our Edinburgh experience quickly passed. It's a wonderful place and at that time of year, and I have often thought how great it would be to do a show up there, even though I know that unless you are vaguely well-known, most people putting shows on will return home at the end of the month having made massive losses and performed to largely empty rooms, which can't be anything but crushing. But I suppose that is part of the magic of the festival, that everyone can have a go if they're bold enough, and that some of the performers do end up making it big.